The Amazon Woman Award

Last Monday morning i dealt with some work drama surrounding the water cooler... today, the saga continues...

One of the female counselors went to get water and the cooler was empty, the jug needed to be changed. She walked around, unsuccessfully looking for a male counselor, all of whom were busy. She used the overhead to page for "male assistance" to the lobby... (really?!)

I watched all this go down and thought it, annoying, hilarious, and a great depiction of sexism in the workplace. Not because i think she should have changed it herself, but because she paged for male assistance! Maybe she had a bad back, maybe she couldn't lift that much weight, whatever, not the point. In one way or another she wasn't able to do it, which is FINE. What isn't fine is that she asked for male assistance because obviously only men can lift water jugs...

Now the (even more) annoying part. I finally felt bad enough to help her out ("male assistance" was nowhere to be seen) and offered to help. She said, "no that's ok, i'll ask the doc." OK... i was intrigued... She asked the doctor for his help and the doc said that he had a bad back. So i walked to the kitchen, got a new water jug, and replaced the old one. Took me all of 30 seconds. The counselor and the doc stood there, starring at me in wonder until finally the doc says, "You should get the Amazon Woman Award."

Holy sexism Batman.

P.S. If someone would like to send me an Amazon Woman Award, i will gladly give you my address ;)

Monday Morning Manhandle

6am may be too early for some to tackle sexist language, but not this feminist gal. (wink)

Mondays and Thursdays are my early days. I work at a methadone clinic and since drug abuse is a non-discriminating disease (meaning anyone can be addicted to drugs) many of our patients have 9-5 jobs like the rest of us and get their treatment before work. Anyway, i work 6am-3pm two days a week... 6am may seem way early for some but i actually love being able to get home by 3:30 and spend QT with Beans...

Today, much like any other 6am Monday morning, counselors, nurses, and staff alike stumbled into the building after a not long enough weekend of rainy weather. (Why is it that rain likes to happen on the weekend and as soon as the work week begins again, it's gorgeous outside?) Per routine, first thing i do in the morning is fill up my Mickey Mouse mug with water. Frequently the water cooler is empty in the mornings (because no one likes to change them) and frequently that becomes my in-office work out for the day. I do this regularly, without complaint... because i secretly like the feeling of being able to lift a 40+ lb water bottle 4 feet off the ground.

This morning, a new clinician happened to see me do it. Unlike the other counselors, he doesn't yet know that i "read into things too much." Anyway, he watched me carry the 5 gallon bottle from the kitchen through the hallway, lift it off the ground, place it on top of the water cooler, and then proceeded to say, "hey, you should let the guys do that."

"Why's that?" I replied.

"Because it's heavy." He said. Then another counselor walked through the hallway and he said to her, "Look at the way Galina just manhandled the water cooler."

I snarkily replied, "Is it still 'manhandling' if a woman does it?"

"Don't take it so personally, it's just a term - it's in the dictionary, look it up"

I turned the defensive off and the patience on and responded, "Just because something is in the dictionary doesn't make it any less sexist. Language is often sexist, and most of it is in the dictionary. All that means is that sexism is institutionalized and more ingrained in our way of life than we realize. Sometimes it's good to think about these things"

"Maybe sometimes" he said, "but not 6am on Monday morning."

"Agreed." I smiled, "There's not much i do well at 6am on Monday morning, well, except womanhandle the water cooler" :)

definition via dictionary.com:

man·han·dle
–verb (used with object), -dled, -dling.
1. to handle roughly.
2. to move by human strength, without the use of mechanical appliances.

Again, male as the default. "Human strength" = male strength, male power.

All i'm trying to say is that language, in itself, is sexist. Since language represents and shapes so much of our daily lives, this is something to think about. And think about often.

Hopefully Jason will Burn in Hell

But thankfully he did get kicked off Hell's Kitchen this week...

From my blog you'd think that all D and I watch is reality TV. I'm not gonna lie, we do watch a lot of reality TV...



Anyway, let me recap Hell's Kitchen for you in case i'm the only one here that enjoys Chef Ramsey and his senseless anger... Basically a bunch of "chefs" compete for (usually) a restaurant. However, this season's reward is to work in one of Chef Ramsey's restaurants rather than getting their own... um, no thanks? (He yells a lot...) The reason "chef" is in quotes is because Gordon Ramsey often selects contestants who are not classically trained as chefs but rather have a passion for food. In fact, last season, Bonnie, previously employed as a nanny, made it to the final two.

Anyway, fast forward to this season. Over the past 3 episodes, Jason, one of the contestants, has made nothing but sexist comments. To the point that I'm not sure he can do an interview without saying something sexist...

I made a list of the "Jason Gems" that some of you may have missed. I wish I did this from the beginning of the season but i only thought of it during this past week's episode... which is fitting because it's also the episode at which he was kicked off the show. Here are some great things Jason said on national TV:

"I'm not gonna lose to a woman! Only way I'll lose to a woman is in an ironing competition."

"We're gonna win cuz we're men. This ain't no dustin' house keepin' challenge."

"The girls surprised me, they did good. But we're gonna win cuz we're fuckin' men here, come on! Huntin' and butcherin' meat? That's what men do"

"I hate desserts, they're tedious. Women can make desserts, ya know? That aint my thing."

"If I get put up tonight I'm not gonna put my head down like some bitch"

and his send off quote: "Maybe if I started crying like some ol' pansy, some chick, ya know, maybe I'd be back up stairs chillin' right now. But I can't do that, I'm a man. I sure as hell am not gonna cry about it. I am however gonna go get drunk."

Those should do it for you. Keep in mind these are all from just ONE episode... imagine if i kept track for all three episodes Jason was in.



Doesn't he realize he'll be working with women in the kitchen? There are many famously talented female chefs. I should have realized he was disgusting when he picked his feet before service in the first episode and didn't wash his hands before going back into the kitchen...GROSS!

To be perfectly blunt, this guy seems like SUCH a sketchball. He probably has been rejected by a few too many women in his life and acts this way because he can't get any. I don't usually make snap judgements like that on people, especially such rude judgements but I feel ok saying it because Jason took the first chance he had to go into the hot tub with one of the "hot" female contestants. Ew.

Jason did an interview in which he said his inspiration to cook was his mom - you'd think he'd give women a bit more credit in the kitchen based on that. Here are some other questions he was asked, and his responses:

Did you think it was fair that you were eliminated, or do you think maybe Craig should have gone for that whole chicken thing?

"For the chicken thing, Craig probably, for as much experience as he says he has, he probably should have got eliminated. But I wanted to go... I was frustrated, I had a bad day. I kind of wanted to leave, so I told them to put me up. But if I would have been put up against a guy, I don't think I would have went home. I think I went home because I got put up against a girl."

They showed you saying a lot of things about how men are a little bit better than women in the kitchen.

"They sure did."

Do you think that's true? Is that type of environment just better suited for men, or did the women impress you?

"The women did do some stuff to impress me, definitely. They were working better as a team than we were for the most part. I know they had a little confrontation as well, but that's part of the game. But they were doing better than us overall, I will give them credit for that. I've never worked in the kitchen with a girl who did anything aside from make salads. I had a couple girls come over and try to do what we were doing, and they just couldn't hang, so they went right back over to salads or ended up waiting tables or doing something else. So from the little bit of experience that I've had with that, that's what I based most of those comments on."

Ok, so i get where his "opinions" stem from but that doesn't give him the right to be an enormously sexist jackass on national TV. Good riddance Jason. Please let us all know where you end up cooking so that i can avoid your restaurant like the plague (yes because you're an ass but also because you suck at cooking - and you don't wash your hands after playing with your feet... gross man, just gross).

"fat-fingering"

Sounds dirty doesn't it?

Unfortunately it's not. It's actually a term that was used today in a HIPAA refresher training i had to sit through. The presenter's recurring use of the term "fat-fingering" to imply typing passwords, email addresses, phone numbers, etc, incorrectly left me alarmed. Weightist attitudes are a huge problem in our society and weightist comments are much more socially accepted nowadays than racist, sexist, or homophobic ones even though they are just as discriminatory. The problem of weight bias is very real and can be just as oppressive as the other "isms" we fight against. Since the presenter is also the same guy who does the cultural diversity trainings for our company (HAHA!), i know that he didn't mean to be offensive by using "fat-fingering" and probably didn't even realize he was saying anything wrong. The problem that i see with it is that using the term with a negative connotation only further perpetuates weightist attitudes. Whoever said "fat is a feminist issue" hit the nail right one the head...

Weight bias can interfere with getting a job, obtaining fair health care, being promoted, and being treated equally in general. I don't mean to be the p.c. police here, and i swear that as a feminist i have learned to pick my battles. I realize that he was simply using a term that may have been thrown around (although i must admit i've never heard it before) but the truth is, a lot of discrimination is intrinsic and unintentional. I don't think that all people who say discriminatory things are terrible people, i think a lot of them don't realize the effect of their words and/or never took the time out to consider it.

For example, i've mentioned before that i work at a substance abuse clinic and see a diverse population of clients. A year and a half ago a client walked into my office for an appointment in a really bad mood. As we started talking through why she was pissed, she explained that, "the chink at the nail salon jewed me!" Holy Shit, WHAT?! Yea... You'd imagine i had an incredibly had time navigating between remaining unbias for my job to maintain the rapport i've established with her and wanting to shake the hell out of her based on my feminist values. What did i do? I calmly repeated back to her what she said and explained how offensive she was being to a number of different racial/ethnic groups. She said she knew "chink" was offensive but was really angry (and offending the Asian woman was a defensive mechanism) yet didn't realize "jewed" was a bad thing to say. I explained that "jewed" was based on the concept that jews are cheap, to which she said, "well aren't they?" I don't know ya'll, what then? It's not my job to teach her social politics, or even manners for that matter. Being a Jew, I had a hard time with that. I tried to explain the background to terms like "jewed" and "gyped" and relate them to race because she was a quick one to speak up when the counselors were being racist. I related the words she used to "jimmied" which seemed to do the trick and she quickly understood.

Tangents aside, words have power that people do not intend them to. A lot of the time this creates problems because people don't think before they speak. We are constantly bombarded with social messages that are nothing but discriminatory and perpetuate white/male/hetero/"good looking"/Christian/etc. norms. It takes a lot of effort to walk through life with a constant critical lens and those who do it seem to bitch, rant, and rave, a lot (i very much included). It's easier to ignore the status quo but like the pin i got from one of my favorite teachers, Marita, says, "if you want peace, work for justice."

Back to the original point (sorry, i'm pretty distracted tonight,) weightism is not ok. Not only is it not okay but it's one of those means of discrimination that is often overlooked and not acknowledged making it even less ok. Especially with the current push out there to get everyone "fit" (by whatever means necessary, i.e. The Biggest Loser). Now please don't get me wrong, "thin" doth not "fit" and "healthy" make. There's this overarching concept (read: misconception) out there that thin = beautiful = happy. This equation is faulty on many levels. Firstly, thin does not equal beautiful. Many a woman is absolutely gorgeous with curves (to link a few media crazed examples.) Next, even thin & "beautiful" does not equal happy. There are many "beautifully" miserable women out there as well (i simply couldn't resist). Now i'm all about being fit and healthy, hell, i'm the loudest proponent of women lifting weights, staying active, being strong, kicking ass out there... but not because media tells us what is "beautiful." Overweight women (more so than men) are constantly overlooked. How many plus-size female CEOs do you know? Now think, how many male CEOs that you know are plus-sized. Exactly. Once again we are whacked with the double standard stick.

As much as i hate the idea of "i lived for a minute in an oppressed person's shoes [or fat suit] so now i know their struggle," Tyra Banks did a show where she wore a "fat suit" for a day and, followed by her cameras, "experienced" the trials and tribulations of being discriminated against because of weight. Although a lot felt off about the whole thing, it did bring light to the issue of weightism in our society to an audience that may have not considered it prior, this i believe to be a success.

For what it's worth, the presenter that used the term, "fat-fingering" apologized and commented on how glad he was that i was comfortable enough bringing this directly to him (read: and not going over his head). But really folks, he must not know me... He said he never considered that it may be offensive and will find a different term for future trainings.

Many a time i've had people read my blog only to comment that i "read into shit too much" and i need to "calm down and not take things so seriously." I guess i'll get preemptively defensive on this one: if you think that weightism and fat-hate doesn't exist, please see here. Not only does it exist (as represented on the video) in mainstream America, but also within the feminist community (check out the comments that correspond with the post.)

(oh and p.s. it's De-Lurking Week so please leave a comment or just say "hey, sup?" :) I'd love to see who reads and especially what your thoughts are. Feel free to leave post ideas and comments with what you love/hate. Also, leave a link to your blog, if you have, for me to check it out! I'd enjoy reading what you have to say!)