Happy Tax Day!

In case you aren't clear on terms and because I find Urban Dictionary ridiculously hilarious: tea-bagging

Joining the Good Fight

I, too, would like to show solidarity to my dog loving sisters and join the doggie revolution! I'd like to introduce you to Beans, the second love of my life:

Here we have Beans doing his favorite thing, hiking:

Here is Beans on a hunger strike when UConn basketball lost last season:

Feel Good Friday: I Got This.

h/t Cesca.

Donald Duck v. Chuck Norris

Floridians (is that a real term?) strongly preferred Hilary Clinton as president (234 votes) over Jesus (23 votes). Also, Donald Duck beat out Chuck Norris (3 votes to 2), which i highly doubt is accurate b/c Chuck Norris can pretty much kick anyone's ass ;)

See more results at Feminist Law Professors

Sarah Palin is Stalking Me!

... How else would she have known that i wrote this post about her while in my pajamas, and from my parent's basement?! The others were written from my own home, or from work (during my lunch break, of course), and surely not in my pajamas... teehee ;)

Which of your Palin Posts were written in your PJs or from your parents' basements?! Leave links to them in comments :)

PUPPIES! (because i needed a break...)

Can you guess how D and I campaigned for Obama yesterday?

We didn't go door to door. We didn't make phone calls to undecided voters. We didn't even pass out flyers...

We took Beans (our plott hound/beagle mix) to the dog-park and taught him to excitedly bark every time we said "Obama."

Some people thought it was hilarious and cute... others got annoyed. But we LOVED it:

It went something like this:

"Beans, do you want Obama to be our next president?"
BARK BARK BARK BARK!!
"Beans, what about McCain?"
(nothing)
"Do you like Joe Biden?"
BARK BARK BARK BARK!!
"How about Sarah Palin?"
(nothing)

Puppies are the greatest! For a nice break from the election madness and for some canine cuteness, check out these pups supporting Obama :)

And here's Beans, giving you his sad puppy eyes to guilt you into voting for Obama: "BARK BARK BARK BARK!!!"

Also, via:

If the Election Was Run by Dogs

10. Vote tabulation has to be restarted every time someone spots a squirrel.

9. Lots of growling whenever someone mentions that McCain is a vet.

8. Entire election thrown into chaos when it’s alleged that thousands of voters *appeared* to throw ballots into box but actually just hid them behind their backs.

7. Voters even more easily distracted by butterfly ballots.

6. Spaying and neutering drastically reduces number of pregnant chads.

5. “Exit Polling” just a fancy name for butt sniffing.

4. In Pit Bull County, hand counts are taken literally.

3. “Mr. Candidate, please respond to the question: Do you wanna go to the park? Huh? Huh? Wanna catch the ball?”

2. No difference at all: Either way, you end up with a steaming pile of democracy!

1. Finding ballots too confusing? Time to put voter to sleep.

The Great Schlep

At first i thought this was a joke. Mostly because i find it impossible to take Sarah Silverman seriously. But The Great Schlep is completely legit... although more than a bit ageist, racist, and stereotypical, it may just help get Obama's message out there...

"The Great Schlep aims to have Jewish grandchildren visit their grandparents in Florida, educate them about Obama, and therefore swing the crucial Florida vote in his favor. Don’t have grandparents in Florida? Not Jewish? No problem! You can still become a schlepper and make change happen in 2008, simply by talking to your relatives about Obama."

There are even talking points! (pdf file)

Anyways, watch The Great Schlep here:

Which is Funnier?

I can't decide which is funnier, or which is more scary... Maybe you can help?

Actual CBS interview, Sarah Palin and Katie Couric:

SNL skit of Palin/Couric interview, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler:

Imposter! :)

Not sure? Watch the SNL skit below in which Tina Fey does a perfect impression of Sarah Palin. The similarities are remarkable! haha

(ok, ok, i'll lay off Palin for a while, i just noticed my last 4 posts were about her...)

Target Women: Sarah Haskins

If you hate Mondays as much as I do, then you can use a laugh today. Sarah Haskins is the most hilarious woman i have seen in a long long time! I tried to find all her Target Women episodes to post here so that i can make sure you get an lol today :)


Target Women: Birth Control



Target Women: Wedding Shows



Target Women: Suffrage



Target Women: Botox



Target Women: Feeding Your F--ing Family



Target Women: Yogurt Edition




Which one is your favorite?!

Feminist Fairy Tale

We should have all been read this fairy tale as children:

Once upon a time in a land far away land, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess came upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am. Then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother,where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: "I don't fuckin think so."

(Thanks Linds for the story)

Also, if you were at all wondering how my Nalgene fiasco was resolved, here is a photo of my new water bottle, a SIGG. Text reads, "Make Love Not Landfill."

Bush Humor

Via

Ali G Takes on Feminism

I've been writing some lengthy and topical posts lately... today is dedicated to some good ol' fashion humor :)



(well humor + a very real example of why feminism is still very necessary...)
Below are just two of the comments on the first page of the video:

wouwouhahaha (1 day ago)
women are made for sex, so just give me some pussy and shut the fuck up.

WKShwerz (4 days ago)
men should have the right to ask any woman to give them some pussy and if the woman refuses, she should go to prison....male prison

Terrific...

Do Republicans Need a Course in History & Politics 101?

When i started this blog I promised myself that it wouldn't become an avenue for me to consistently bash Republicans - primarily because most of my family impenitently consider themselves Republican and i don't want to be disowned ;) But sometimes, i really just can't resist.
Two fun and disturbing (but oh-so-unfunny) stories from last week:

1. Bush administration spokesperson, Dana Perino, doesn't know the difference between missiles because she's just a perty lady - and, duh, men know about missiles through osmosis...

Some of the terms I just don’t know, I haven’t grown up knowing. The type of missiles that are out there: patriots and scuds and cruise missiles and tomahawk missiles. And I think that men just by osmosis understand all of these things, and they’re things that I really have to work at — to know the difference between a carrier and a destroyer, and what it means when one of those is being launched to a certain area.

Jezebel covered this well, even included a lesson for Ms. Perino to better understand missiles. With a shopper's guide soon to come (hopefully in pink, with feathers and lace maybe?)

We laugh (and it is certainly more than a bit ridiculous that the Administration's spokesperson is confused about her weapons of mass destruction) but I do get what she's talking about. She probably grew up playing with dolls and make-up while her male peers played "launch the missile." Although i realize this is an exaggeration, i think it definitely speaks to socialization and the damage caused by engendering our children from such a young age.




Apparently she also doesn't know what the Cuban Missile Crisis is?

2. Although i'm a bit late on this, it's rather important to include... McCain confuses Shiites (Iran) and Sunnis (al-Qaeda)





I would hope that the Republican presidential nominee (who is currently a senator and as such, has some legislative power), would know the difference between the two. Not to mention that McCain has made his knowledge and experience of the Iraq war a vital part of his campaign.

I can't decide whether this demonstrates lack of knowledge on his part (probably) or even worse, the attitude that "a terrorist is a terrorist is a terrorist," resulting in only one answer to terrorism: War. (Remember McCain's musical number "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran"?)

Jed asks, "when John McCain goes to war, would he do it against the right people?"

...Or maybe that's how we ended up fighting a war with Iraq in the first place?

But really though? REALLY?! These people are our elected officials. One is a spokesperson for the current administration and one may be our future president... People, we need to do better than this... we simply NEED TO.

Is Gay Activity to Blame for the Earthquakes in Israel?

Shas MK Shlomo Benizri seems to believe it is... (no, seriously, i'm not even kidding here...)

Benizri thinks that the Israeli government should pass less legislation that "encourages homosexuality" rather than reinforce buildings as a preventative measure for earthquakes.

Benizri adds: "A cost-effective way of averting earthquake damage would be to stop passing legislation on how to encourage homosexual activity in the State of Israel, which anyways causes earthquakes."

A rep from Israeli's Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender Association responded with a bit of humor to Benizri's ridiculous statement: "On one hand, it is said that a religious MK doesn't believe that earthquakes are caused by God, on the other hand, it is flattering that he attributes supernatural powers to us."

Really Israel? I'm disappointed...

Via Haaretz.com

*Please don't take offense that i used the "humor" label on this, but seriously, i couldn't read this story in any other way because the notion that gay activity causes earthquakes is just plain ridiculous.

Have you been Super Tuesdayed enough?

I'm rootin' for Obama because he's damn sexy...

And for Clinton because I want to see Ann Coulter campaign for her come presidential elections :)

Either way, we can't lose... 2008 is going to kick ass, i'm so psyched!

People searched WHAT and found me?!

Keyword analysis of Google searches that have recently landed people on my blog:

• getting pregnant man on heroin
• fingering and eating woman out
• jimmy's racism sprinkles
• fat woman fingering
• traditional marriage of mike huckabee's dreams
• jamie lynn spears and her puppy
• heavy lifting woman's uterus
• mrs. pacman women's rights
• pregnant 12 year old teenager baby kicking
• hillary cry onion
• videos jenny jones marriage proposals
• is it difficult to get pregnant on heroin?

I see...

Hopefully they got something useful out of their visit...

Psychology Research Holiday Humor :)

All of us who've struggled to get studies through the IRB will very much appreciate this :)

Dr. K Kringle
Adjunct Professor of Child Psychology
Far Northern University

Dear Dr. Kringle (Ph.D, M.D., D.O.? Please verify your credentials):

At the regularly scheduled December 24 meeting, the IRB reviewed your protocol, "A Global Observational Study of Behavior in Children" While we believe it has many good features, it could not be approved as submitted. If you choose to revise your study, please address the following IRB concerns:

1. You propose to study "children of all ages". Please provide an exact lower and upper age limit, as well as the precise number of subjects. Provide a statistically valid power calculation to justify this large of a study.

2. Your only inclusion criterion is "belief in Santa Clause." Please provide a copy of the screening questionnaire that determines such a belief. Provide a Waiver of Authorization under MPAA in order to record these beliefs prior to enrollment in your study. The Board recommends that you obtain a Certificate of Confidentiality as beliefs are sensitive and personal information.

3. You propose to "know when they are sleeping and know when they are awake". How will this be done? Will children undergo video monitoring in their beds? Will they have sleep EEGs? You list 100 elves as research assistants. Are any of them sleep physiologists? Please provide credentials of elves.

4. Your primary outcome measure is to "know when they've been bad or good." What standard is being used to determine "goodness'? Do children have to be good all year or just most of the time? Please specify required duration and provide the instrumentation, with appropriate consent forms, that will be used for operationally defining "goodness".

5. You propose to conduct your research by entering the subjects' homes through the chimney. Have you considered the liability potential, i.e., damage to the roof, carpeting, etc., that this will cause? Moreover, children are likely to be startled by your appearance late at night. Please revise your protocol to conduct your home visits between 9 am and 5 pm Monday through Friday with at least one parent being present and all risks and benefits carefully described.

6. You state that compensation for participation will be "sugarplums, candy, and toys" for the good little girls and boys. This may not be appropriate for the children with obesity, dental cavities, and hyperactivity. Also, your proposal to leave a lump of coal in the stockings of the bad children will be unfairly stigmatizing to them individually and as a group. In general, the Board suggests a small token of appreciation for all participants. Perhaps a $5 Toys-R-Us gift card would be more appropriate in order to avoid potential coercion.

7. The database of good and bad children will be kept "on a scroll at the North Pole." Please describe the location of the scroll and the security provisions you have in place to protect the data. Is the scroll kept in a locked cabinet in a locked room? Who has access to the scroll? Are there backup copies of the scroll and how often are they compared to the original?

8. You mention the participation of "eight tiny reindeer" in your protocol. Please provide the Board with documentation of Institutional Animal Care and Use Committee approval.

9. Please provide the Human Subjects Protection training dates for Mrs. Claus and the elves.

10. As this study involves prospective data collection and is more than minimal risk without prospect of direct benefit to the subjects, informed consent signed by all guardians will be required. Please have the consent form translated into every language spoken by children and ensure that assent forms are signed by all. Please submit 25 copies of your revised protocol to the IRB. The IRB will be on Holiday Season schedule for the next two weeks. If approved, you will be able to conduct your study sometime in the spring, if all items are appropriately addressed.


Sincerely,
E. Scrooge, MD

Chair, Institutional Review Board

In need of Holiday cheer? Look no further :)

Man Finally Put In Charge Of Struggling Feminist Movement

See, feminists do have a sense of humor :)
Thanks for the link D, good find!