Disgusting Guinness Commercial

A facebook friend posted this video on his wall. He wrote "best. video. ever" next to the link. I strongly disagreed.



This ad is actually incredibly offensive. I'm all for sexy advertising but there's nothing sexy or appealing about a women being portrayed as a silent beer coasters while three men(?) drink off of her. I think what bothered me most, though was the text: "Share one with a friend"... seriously? That's such blatant objectification. It portrays women as no better than beer, serving the mere purpose of entertaining men as they bond while they fuck us. Eww. The supposed sex here bothers me, too. It's clearly not good sex (based on the woman's only slight movements) and portrays the woman as nothing more than a body for three others to fuck, which is disgusting and not sexually empowering whatsoever.

Sexism is alive and well in this ad. If nothing else we have to admit that advertisements serve to sell more than the product they are promoting. If that wasn't the case, why would they use hot, half naked women to get products noticed? Advertisements also sell concepts of normalcy, and in this case, create a culture where it's not only ok but sexy to objectify women, use them solely for the purpose of male bonding and beer drinking, and "share them" with their friends. Women (people in general) deserve better than this.

I objected to the link. I posted an explanation underneath it to which many people replied that i was being overly liberal, overly sensitive, and unable to take a joke. Then someone compared this commercial to this Calvin Kline ad of David Becham modeling underwear. The guy was clearly misunderstanding the definition of "objectification." The term is used to signify when a person is seen purely to serve a purpose and their attributes and appearance are separated from the rest of their worth to reduce that person to an instrument (or object) solely for the pleasure or use of another person. When men are photographed half naked (as in that ad) men aren't objectified in the same way women are everyday due to the social context. We live in a country where women are second class citizens and commercials like the Guinness one only serve to perpetuate and glamorize that status.

Research just this year found that men are more likely to think of women as objects if they viewed pictures of stereotypically sexy women beforehand. "Researchers used brain scans to show that when straight men looked at pictures of women in bikinis, areas of the brain that normally light up in anticipation of using tools, like spanners and screwdrivers, were activated. Scans of some of the men found that a part of the brain associated with empathy for other peoples' emotions and wishes shut down after looking at the pictures. Susan Fiske, a psychologist at Princeton University in New Jersey, said the changes in brain activity suggest sexy images can shift the way men perceive women, turning them from people to interact with, to objects to act upon."

IntelliGender

A new over-the-counter product called IntelliGender can possibly predict the sex of an unborn fetus as early as 10 weeks old.

It claims that within 10 minutes of taking the urine test, a woman will be able
to tell her baby's gender. The specimen will turn green if it's a boy, and
orange if it's a girl.

A product like this has serious implications in countries (and families) where one sex is preferred over another. 10 weeks is early enough to terminate the pregnancy, and the thought that this product may aid in abortions based on the sex of a child is more than troublesome. For example, China's preference for male babies is ingrained in both culture and politics. At one point the Chinese government set into place a one-child-only policy as an attempt to target overpopulation which significantly increased the number of female infanticides. The Communist Party took power in 1949 and outlawed this practice. However, in the 1980's the Chinese government census continued to show hundreds of thousands of missing baby girls each year. The practice of female infanticide in China is most prevalent in rural areas where boys are valued for their ability to help with the land and take care of their parents later on in life. Girls, however, traditionally move in with their in-laws and cannot further help their birth family. Baby girls are often "abandoned, suffocated, or drowned soon after birth." Aside from being an inhuman, unethical, and sexist practice, female infanticide effects the Chinese culture in many ways, "in 1997 the London Telegraph quoted ...a Chinese journal... which warned the male-to-female ratio in China has become so unbalanced that there will soon be an 'army of bachelors' in China - an estimated 90 million Chinese men in search of a spouse." Female infanticide is an old practice dating back to 200 B.C. in Greece. It still exists today mostly cited in China and India.

The makers of IntelliGender state they will not be distributing to China and India. Still, products like these terrify me. It makes me feel like we are one step closer to being able to generate our "ideal" child.

At least it turns orange and green rather than pink and blue? Oh for small victories...

Thanks, Joanne, for sending this over and pointing out the "i need it right now" instant world we currently live in.

And Now a Word from our Sponsors...

People always ask me how relevant i believe feminism to be: "haven't we come a long way since outwardly sexist discrimination?" Maybe. I will agree that in a lot of ways sexism (as well as other forms of oppression) are a lot more subtle and insidious than they used to be. However, even though we have come far we aren't even close to there yet. Women continue to make less than men, women continue to fight for reproductive rights and control of their own bodies, and women remain out-numbered in politics, economy, and other positions of power.

One arena in which sexism never ceases is the media. Commercials continue to use tired gender stereotypes in their advertising believing people react positively to this, and maybe they do, because if they didn't market researchers would need to come up with different strategies.

I came across a video yesterday that put together sexist commercials from the 1950's, 60's and 70's. These commercials are clearly sexist, one voice over states, "every woman needs to be herself at times, and that means baking!" The commercials start about 1:00 min into the video.



But then i remembered commercials i saw just this past month during the Super Bowl that were just as bad!



and:



and then earlier this year the commercial that made me want to hurl my TV out the window, never have children for fear of ruining them, and write many angry letters to Playskool:



I wrote more about this disturbing commercial last year and there was some controversy in the comment section. Playskool is advertising a "place where she can entertain her imagination!" as the little girl is shown with the washer and drying saying, "let's do laundry!"

So sure, maybe we have "come a long way" since women were denied the right to vote but we certainly aren't there yet.

Follow Up to my Sexism Masked as Tradition Post

Back in July I wrote about a coworker who was upset with his wife for being pregnant with a girl. I wrote how unfortunate it was for him to be disappointed with his future daughter before she's even born and at his wife for something that the sperm have more "control" over than the egg. I also wrote about the degree of sexism that still exists (in my peers no less!) masked as "tradition."

Today this same coworker's client came into their counseling session with a new baby boy. In the hallway (right outside my door), the counselor said, "Congrats on having a boy!" to his client. The client replied, "I heard you are a new dad too, congrats to you as well." The counselor explained, "Nah man, no congrats here. I had a girl. I wish i had a boy. I just shot and missed, ya know? haha. Hopefully next time."

I thought after his daughter was born he'd change his tune. Nope, guess not. Poor girl.

Sexism Masked as Tradition

I realize i haven't touched much on politics over the past week but i've encountered some outrages people and have been a part of several shocking conversations that need to be highlighted here. Frankly, personal is political so these "real life" situations are just as if not more valuable than writing reactions to the news and society. Right? Right! :)

I had a hard time deciding whether or not to write this post because of the high likelihood that it would be read by the person it is about. After reading a couple of hollywoodenflames' posts i realized that i have the freedom to write about people in my life and they should understand that whatever they say to me is fair game ;) Is that a bit cold? Maybe. But honestly, if everyday sexism and inequality occurs in everyday conversations with family, friends, and co-workers i not only have the right to write about it but would be doing a disservice not writing about it. Real life *isms* need to be addressed. They exist, they oppress, they silence. And left unsaid they perpetuate the status quo.

Thursday afternoon i had a ridiculous conversation with a 22 year old male coworker. I think age is relevant here because i haven't encountered this type of sexism from young men in a long time (since i was in college, really). Usually i have a harder time explaining discrimination and the importance of feminism to older men which i chalk up to them being "stuck in their ways" and turning it into a "generational thing." That's why this particular situation stung more than others.

Anyway, i was siting in my office as a counselor talked to the receptionist across the hall about the disappointment he felt because he was having a baby girl. He said he really wanted a boy so that he can raise him to be a "manly man" like his dad. I get that lots of guys want little boys, that's not what bothered me. What bothered me was how he talked about his future daughter. Mostly because he was already disappointed in her, before she was even born. My sister-in-law is 8+ months pregnant. We were so unbelievably grateful that this is a healthy baby, boy or girl was irrelevant. IMO, everyone should hope for a healthy, happy, child, not be disappointed in the sex; boy, girl, trans, it's your future child you're talking about. Thinking about this a little further, being "disappointed" with baby girls is not a new concept.

For example, China's preference for male babies is ingrained in both culture and politics. The Chinese government set into place a one-child-only policy as an attempt to target overpopulation which significantly increased the number of female infanticides. The Communist Party took power in 1949 and outlawed this practice. However, in the 1980's the Chinese government census continued to show hundreds of thousands of missing baby girls each year. The practice of female infanticide in China is most prevalent in rural areas where boys are valued for their ability to help with the land and take care of their parents later on in life. Girls, however, traditionally move in with their in-laws and cannot further help their birth family. Baby girls are often "abandoned, suffocated, or drowned soon after birth." Aside from being an inhuman, unethical, and sexist practice, female infanticide effects the Chinese culture in many ways, "in 1997 the London Telegraph quoted ...a Chinese journal... which warned the male-to-female ratio in China has become so unbalanced that there will soon be an 'army of bachelors' in China - an estimated 90 million Chinese men in search of a spouse."

Female infanticide is an old practice dating back to 200 B.C. in Greece. It still exists today mostly cited in China and India.

Tying this back to overhearing my coworker being disappointed and "pissed" about having a girl: Was he hoping for a boy to have extra hands on the farm? No. Was he hoping for a boy to take care of him when he's old? Probably not. Was he hoping for a boy because he was only allowed one child by the government? No. As he walked by i congratulated him on the great news of an addition to his family and asked why he was disappointed to have a girl. He told me he was hoping for a boy to carry on his family name. He was hoping for a boy to raise as a "manly man like his daddy." He was "disappointed in having a girl because girls are nothing but trouble." I tried to get into to it further with him. I told him that if it's the family name that meant so much to him lots of women keep their name. This turned into an incredibly heteronormative and sexist conversation.

Firstly, he assumed his future daughter would be attracted to men and when i suggested the alternative he because outraged. Secondly, he said that she will not keep her own name because it is tradition that women take their husband's name. I said that if it's important to her to keep her name, she should be with a person that values equality and respects her decision. He disagreed and very clearly explained that "tradition is much more important than equality." This is a 22 year old. I was so so sad.

We talked some more about his unborn daughter's future husband (ugh) and how she will not be with a man that would "allow" her to keep her name. This poor girl. Not only will she be controlled by her dad but then once she finds a partner (who am i kidding, a man) that is just like her dad, she will then be controlled by him. I asked him if he hopes for her to be in a loving, equal relationship rather than a controlling one and he said again, "tradition is more important than equality." Ouch. He then tried to argue that he was in an equal relationship. Now i have no idea whether or not he is. I don't know his wife, i don't know their relationship. All i know is what he's saying to me at that point. So i asked him a few question:

Me: "How is your relationship based on equality?"
Him: "I love and respect her"
Me: "That's really good, i think love and respect are very important in strong relationships. What if she wanted to keep her own last name?"
Him: "I would say no"
Me: "So you usually have the final word on things?"
Him: "Yea, i'm the man in the relationship"
Me: "Doesn't that mean that you have more power and thus you are dominant?"
Him: "Yea, men should be"
Me: "So your relationship is not equal then, right?"

I don't think that keeping/taking a last name is really the important part of that conversation. What IS significant is why a last name was so important to him. He kept referring to tradition and i kept explaining about control and power. A girl has her dad's name, then her husband's. She's first her dad's property, then her husband's. This concept appealed to my coworker, it doesn't appeal to me. If someone chooses to take a last name based on family, personal choice, or even preference for the name itself, good for them. If they have no choice and are forced to take a name based on "tradition," power, or control, that is not okay by me. "Tradition" is drenched in patriarchy, inequality, and oppression. Tradition is never a good answer in my book.

Once he realized he was being more than a bit hypocritical trying to explain he was in an equal and respectful relationship but valued male dominance and "tradition" he backed off and left. The story is not over, however. He stopped by again on his way out to say, "Bye Miss Chauvinist, have a nice afternoon." Here is the conversation that followed that comment:

Me: "I think you are mistaken, a chauvinist is someone who is unreasonably bias towards a group to which s/he belongs, this particularly refers to men who believe they are superior to women."
Him: "What should i call you them?"
Me: "Um, Galina. Or if you need a social term, a feminist. I value and work towards equality."
Him: "Haha, a feminist! You need to broaden your horizons!"
Me: "Um, i think you do...?" (i was so confused...)
Him: "No."
Me: "Ok..."
Silence... cricket, cricket...
Me: "You're a substance abuse counselor, don't you think equality is important?!"
Him: "Not as important as maintaining tradition"
Then he laughs and says: "What if your boyfriend wanted to stay home and raise the kids?"
Me: "Firstly, why do you assume i'm straight? Secondly, why do you assume i even want kids? Thirdly, if my partner wanted to stay home to raise the kids and we didn't need a second income i would be absolutely fine with that arrangement. I think if it's important to the couple that one parent stays home with the children, it should be the one who makes less money, regardless of their sex."
Him: "WHAT? What type of family were you raised in?"
Me: "Actually, a very traditional and conservative one. But once i learned to make my own decisions and think for myself i realized that the 'traditional' lifestyle is actually incredibly oppressive, patriarchal, and only beneficial if you're a white man, which i'm not."

The conversation went on like that for a while, i won't type it all out because it's a bit boring and i'm sure we've heard it all before. Except for that i haven't! I mean, on TV, yes, in jokes, yes, in radio, in stereotypes, etc. But to actually have a conversation like this with a substance abuse counselor who is supposed to be open minded and forward thinking? No.

I wrote down the name of my blog on a post-it for him. I said if he reads it i'm sure he'll disagree with 90% of what i write. Then i contemplated whether or not to put this conversation up. In the end, i think i did the right thing by publishing it because of how shocked i was/am that this degree of sexism (masked as "tradition") still exists, especially in my peers... I'm several years older than him, but not too too many. I thought our generation was better than that...

1930's Advertising

I got an email from my cousin today with several interesting ads from the 1930's. I thought ya'll would enjoy them as much as i did:

All the ads are excellent but the one above is my favorite! Want to stay thin? Do it with tape worms! They're "sanitized" and "easy to swallow!" Also, "No ill effects!" (Except the fact that you have a tape worm... riiiiiiight)

Here are some others :)

Above ad text reads:
Day after heartbreaking day i was held in an unyielding web... a web spun by my husband's indifference, i couldn't reach him any more! Was the fault mine? Well... thinking you know about feminine hygiene, yet trusting to now-and-then care, can make all the difference in married happiness, as my doctor pointed out. He said never to run such careless risks... prescribed "Lysol" brand disinfectant for douching-always.

"BUT I BROKE THROUGH IT!"

Oh, the joy of finding Tom's love and close companionship once more! Believe me, I follow to the letter my doctor's advice on feminine hygiene... always use "Lysol" for douching. I wouldn't be satisfied now with salt, soda or other homemade solutions! Not with "Lysol," a proved germ-killer that cleanses so gently yet so thoroughly. It's easy to use, too, and economical. The very best part is - "Lysol" really works!

Boobies Earn Police Officer a Promotion*

Not sure what to make of this story. In China, some are protesting a police officer's promotion. Why was she promoted you ask? Because she breastfed nine (yes, NINE) orphaned victims after the earthquake. Protesters say, "an official position should not be used to promote a moral model." Huh?

Why are people really protesting this promotion? Maybe because boobies make some people uncomfortable... Maybe because this officer went above and beyond her call of duty and did something that no man could have. And something that although some women may have been able to, chose not to. I think that certainly does merit a promotion.

My only hesitation with this story is that since men are physically unable to breastfeed, is it fair to promote a woman for something that men cannot physiologically do? Not sure. In this case, i think yes because this officer saw a need that she could fill and went above and beyond to fill it. I think that shows altruism, compassion, and her ability to complete "tasks" outside those on her job description. Because of this, it warrants a promotion.

What are your thoughts?

Story found via Feministe where a commenter wrote:

The fact that she pulled out her breasts and not a gun should not lessen the value of her work for the community.

Haha, so true.

*please forgive me for the title, i was trying to be ironic and think of the most ridiculous headline that newspapers would write for this story :0)

DQ Me Something Different... b/c your commercial is pretty darn sexist

Each time i see this Dairy Queen commercial it bothers me more and more. I couldn't figure out why it irked me so much, until now...



There are lots of things going on here:
1. Stereotype of women as gold diggers
2. Stereotype of women as manipulative
3. Benevolent sexism

The women = gold diggers stereotype is based on women using their sexuality to get stuff. In the DQ commercial, the girl is flirting with the boy, using her body language and smile to make him think she's interested in him. In exchange, he buys her an ice cream. Translation: women use their only asset (sex and appearance) and men use theirs (resources, esp money).

The women = manipulative stereotype comes into play mostly at the end when the girl arrogantly and with sass says, "It's like shootin' fish in a barrel." Even at age 9 (estimation) she knows what she can get by using her looks.

Now, let's talk about benevolent sexism: "Characterizing women as pure creatures who ought to be protected, supported, and adored and whose love is necessary to make a man complete. This idealization of women simultaneously implies that they are weak and best suited for conventional gender roles; being put on a pedestal is confining, yet the man who places a woman there is likely to interpret this as cherishing, rather than restricting, her (and many women may agree). Despite the greater social acceptability of benevolent sexism, our research suggests that it serves as a crucial complement to hostile sexism that helps to pacify women’s resistance to societal gender inequality."

The problem is that benevolent sexism is often unrecognized and when challenged, called "chivalry." It's seen as men just being gentlemen and women should be grateful for men being nice. Also, it isn't seen as sexism because women often benefit from it. Even if women benefit, it can still be sexist. Although on the outside benevolent sexism seems advantageous for women, it actually keep women from equality. Since benevolent sexism values women on the basis of their gender, men and women remain unequal. Some see this as "female privilege" but when looking at it that way, we ignore the actual problem: benevolent sexism. Roy says it well: "I think that some of the problems that men face now...are a direct result of the flaws a patriarchical system. It’s not that women have more power than men, it’s that patriarchy is an inherently flawed system that sets standards that are harmful to everyone. It’s a double edged sword."

This might be a bit outdated but it's a questionnaire that assesses your level of sexism, hostile and benevolent (via). Here for a breakdown of scores. And here for the PDF of the paper for you academic type ;)

Also Here

Obviously DQ knew what they were doing. Why else did they put the little boy in a "donkey sweatshirt" (aka jackass)? Lots of money, time, and thought goes into developing these commercials to send a particular message, don't let them fool you :)

The Amazon Woman Award

Last Monday morning i dealt with some work drama surrounding the water cooler... today, the saga continues...

One of the female counselors went to get water and the cooler was empty, the jug needed to be changed. She walked around, unsuccessfully looking for a male counselor, all of whom were busy. She used the overhead to page for "male assistance" to the lobby... (really?!)

I watched all this go down and thought it, annoying, hilarious, and a great depiction of sexism in the workplace. Not because i think she should have changed it herself, but because she paged for male assistance! Maybe she had a bad back, maybe she couldn't lift that much weight, whatever, not the point. In one way or another she wasn't able to do it, which is FINE. What isn't fine is that she asked for male assistance because obviously only men can lift water jugs...

Now the (even more) annoying part. I finally felt bad enough to help her out ("male assistance" was nowhere to be seen) and offered to help. She said, "no that's ok, i'll ask the doc." OK... i was intrigued... She asked the doctor for his help and the doc said that he had a bad back. So i walked to the kitchen, got a new water jug, and replaced the old one. Took me all of 30 seconds. The counselor and the doc stood there, starring at me in wonder until finally the doc says, "You should get the Amazon Woman Award."

Holy sexism Batman.

P.S. If someone would like to send me an Amazon Woman Award, i will gladly give you my address ;)

Monday Morning Manhandle

6am may be too early for some to tackle sexist language, but not this feminist gal. (wink)

Mondays and Thursdays are my early days. I work at a methadone clinic and since drug abuse is a non-discriminating disease (meaning anyone can be addicted to drugs) many of our patients have 9-5 jobs like the rest of us and get their treatment before work. Anyway, i work 6am-3pm two days a week... 6am may seem way early for some but i actually love being able to get home by 3:30 and spend QT with Beans...

Today, much like any other 6am Monday morning, counselors, nurses, and staff alike stumbled into the building after a not long enough weekend of rainy weather. (Why is it that rain likes to happen on the weekend and as soon as the work week begins again, it's gorgeous outside?) Per routine, first thing i do in the morning is fill up my Mickey Mouse mug with water. Frequently the water cooler is empty in the mornings (because no one likes to change them) and frequently that becomes my in-office work out for the day. I do this regularly, without complaint... because i secretly like the feeling of being able to lift a 40+ lb water bottle 4 feet off the ground.

This morning, a new clinician happened to see me do it. Unlike the other counselors, he doesn't yet know that i "read into things too much." Anyway, he watched me carry the 5 gallon bottle from the kitchen through the hallway, lift it off the ground, place it on top of the water cooler, and then proceeded to say, "hey, you should let the guys do that."

"Why's that?" I replied.

"Because it's heavy." He said. Then another counselor walked through the hallway and he said to her, "Look at the way Galina just manhandled the water cooler."

I snarkily replied, "Is it still 'manhandling' if a woman does it?"

"Don't take it so personally, it's just a term - it's in the dictionary, look it up"

I turned the defensive off and the patience on and responded, "Just because something is in the dictionary doesn't make it any less sexist. Language is often sexist, and most of it is in the dictionary. All that means is that sexism is institutionalized and more ingrained in our way of life than we realize. Sometimes it's good to think about these things"

"Maybe sometimes" he said, "but not 6am on Monday morning."

"Agreed." I smiled, "There's not much i do well at 6am on Monday morning, well, except womanhandle the water cooler" :)

definition via dictionary.com:

man·han·dle
–verb (used with object), -dled, -dling.
1. to handle roughly.
2. to move by human strength, without the use of mechanical appliances.

Again, male as the default. "Human strength" = male strength, male power.

All i'm trying to say is that language, in itself, is sexist. Since language represents and shapes so much of our daily lives, this is something to think about. And think about often.

National Equal Pay Day

I missed the boat on Blog for Fair Pay Day but today is actually National Equal Pay Day 2008! Thanks to Maggie for informing me of today and for helping with the wonderful events Stony Brook Career Center organized today to raise awareness at their university.

Some Facts:

• Women working full-time, year-round earn only about 77 cents for every dollar earned by men, virtually the same amount women earned in 2005. In 2006, the median annual earnings of women ages 15 and older working full-time, year-round were $32,515, compared to $42,261 for their male counterparts. Via US Census
  
• African American woman earned just 63 cents for every dollar earned by a white, non-Hispanic man, while a Hispanic woman earned only 52 cents on the dollar compared to her white, non-Hispanic male counterpart. Also via US Census
• There is not a single state in which women have gained economic equality with men. Via
  
• As of 2006, Washington, D.C. was the area with the smallest wage gap, at 98%, whereas Louisiana had the widest gap, with women making about 66% of what men earned. Via
  
• As women get older, the wage gap for them widens. When women start their careers, the pay gap is relatively small: females aged 15 to 24 working full-time, year-round have median annual earnings that are 94% of what their male counterparts earn. However, by the time they reach the critical years leading up to retirement, that 6% pay gap has increased almost five times: women aged 45 to 64 who work full-time, year-round earn only 71% of what men do. Via
  

Breakdown of what this all means:

Women in the United States are still paid only 77 cents for every dollar earned by men. Minority women have it far worse. African American women earn 63 cents and Latinas earn 52 cents for every dollar paid to white men.

Female Impersonator wrote a wonderful post on this a few days back to help illustrate the point.

Also, in looking up stuff for today, it took me a while to figure out whether this was for real or a joke. I wish it was for real...

What can YOU do on Equal Pay Day? Here's where you can start:

• Support the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act
• Educate yourself and others (pdf)
• Start talking about how much you're getting paid. I realize talk of wages is usually off limits, even in conversations among friends, but this is a contributing reason the wage gap continues to go unnoticed.

An Orange on the Seder Plate

Saturday night marked the start of Passover. For us Jews, Passover means staring at a set table for an hour while going through the Seder, eating incredibly gross looking gefilte fish, and not being allowed to eat any fermented grain products for a week (ie bread, pasta, grain alcohol, anything leavened, etc). Passover also means retelling the story of the Israelites' Exodus from Egypt, matzah-ball soup (yum!), remembering back to the days we searched for, found, and got payed for finding the Afikomen, sharing laughs and songs with family and friends, and eating and drinking, a lot. The message of Passover is freedom and ending of persecution, this is a message not unique to the Jews but rather one we should all share and strive for. Passover is the festival of freedom and as such, i write about it here.

I spent the first night of Passover at my parents' house. My mom always makes enough food to feed a small army, even though there are usually no more than a dozen guests. It's an ongoing joke that after everyone is fed, one of the wise-ass children says to my mom, "I am still hungry, maybe we can order a pizza?" No one leaves hungry and no one leaves empty handed. Dinner at my parents' house is always a feast, full of delicious traditional Russian food, good compay, and a little political controversy (they're mostly Republicans... i know, i know) ;)

D and I attended Second Seder at my brother and sister-in-law's new place in Brooklyn :) They recently moved and we were their first house guests! We had an amazing time taking the puppies to swim and play in at the dog beach in Prospect Park and absolutely fell in love with their house! NYC was wonderful but Brooklyn is just as good PLUS so much more spacious, green, and family oriented. Oh and Beans met his twin at the dog run, it was uncanny how similar he and Henry the Beagle/Pit bull mix looked.

Ok, i'll finally get to the feminist part is all this :) I swear it's all sort of relevant! I had the wonderful honor of bringing the orange this year for my brother and sister-in-law's Seder. And here, in the story of the orange, lies the feminist relevance to my ramblings.

Susannah Heschel, a leading feminist scholar, is the woman responsible for popularizing the custom of an orange on the Seder plate. The story goes that during one of Susannah Heschel's lectures at a synagogue in Miami, an elderly rabbi stood up and said, "A woman belongs on the bimah like an orange belongs on the Seder plate." "To show support for the changing role of women in American Jewish society, the tradition of placing an orange on the Seder plate began, and Heschel became a household name at many Passover celebrations around the globe."

But don't be fooled... this isn't the actual story of the orange. In the early 80's a feminist Haggadah instructed that Jews place a crust of bread on the Seder plate to represent marginalized Jews, particularly Jewish lesbians and gay men, in the Jewish community. Although Heschel liked the notion of reintroducing oppressed groups into Passover, she did not agree that the symbol should be bread. Heschel felt that by putting bread on the Seder plate we would be indicating that gay men and women are violating Judaism like leavened foods (the bread) violate Passover. Heschel instead chose an orange to symbolize the inclusion of gays and lesbians (as well as others who are marginalized and oppressed within Jewish law and tradition). Heschel chose an orange for two reasons: 1. to symbolize the "fruitfulness of all Jews" (aka it's better when EVERYONE gets a chance to participate, and everyone benefits when all are included) and 2. the seeds, as they are spit out, act as a symbol of the homophobia and discrimination we are protesting.

Additionally, Heschel was more than a bit (rightfully) peeved when the story about the elderly male rabbi began to circulate because (she writes) "somehow the typical patriarchal maneuver occurred: My idea of an orange and my intention of affirming lesbians and gay men were transformed. Now the story circulates that a man said to me that a woman belongs on the bimah as an orange on the seder plate. A woman's words are attributed to a man, and the affirmation of lesbians and gay men is erased. Isn't that precisely what's happened over the centuries to women's ideas?"

Next year, don't forget to bring an orange to Seder and especially to talk about the importance of including and celebrating all people in religion and traditions.

Hopefully Jason will Burn in Hell

But thankfully he did get kicked off Hell's Kitchen this week...

From my blog you'd think that all D and I watch is reality TV. I'm not gonna lie, we do watch a lot of reality TV...



Anyway, let me recap Hell's Kitchen for you in case i'm the only one here that enjoys Chef Ramsey and his senseless anger... Basically a bunch of "chefs" compete for (usually) a restaurant. However, this season's reward is to work in one of Chef Ramsey's restaurants rather than getting their own... um, no thanks? (He yells a lot...) The reason "chef" is in quotes is because Gordon Ramsey often selects contestants who are not classically trained as chefs but rather have a passion for food. In fact, last season, Bonnie, previously employed as a nanny, made it to the final two.

Anyway, fast forward to this season. Over the past 3 episodes, Jason, one of the contestants, has made nothing but sexist comments. To the point that I'm not sure he can do an interview without saying something sexist...

I made a list of the "Jason Gems" that some of you may have missed. I wish I did this from the beginning of the season but i only thought of it during this past week's episode... which is fitting because it's also the episode at which he was kicked off the show. Here are some great things Jason said on national TV:

"I'm not gonna lose to a woman! Only way I'll lose to a woman is in an ironing competition."

"We're gonna win cuz we're men. This ain't no dustin' house keepin' challenge."

"The girls surprised me, they did good. But we're gonna win cuz we're fuckin' men here, come on! Huntin' and butcherin' meat? That's what men do"

"I hate desserts, they're tedious. Women can make desserts, ya know? That aint my thing."

"If I get put up tonight I'm not gonna put my head down like some bitch"

and his send off quote: "Maybe if I started crying like some ol' pansy, some chick, ya know, maybe I'd be back up stairs chillin' right now. But I can't do that, I'm a man. I sure as hell am not gonna cry about it. I am however gonna go get drunk."

Those should do it for you. Keep in mind these are all from just ONE episode... imagine if i kept track for all three episodes Jason was in.



Doesn't he realize he'll be working with women in the kitchen? There are many famously talented female chefs. I should have realized he was disgusting when he picked his feet before service in the first episode and didn't wash his hands before going back into the kitchen...GROSS!

To be perfectly blunt, this guy seems like SUCH a sketchball. He probably has been rejected by a few too many women in his life and acts this way because he can't get any. I don't usually make snap judgements like that on people, especially such rude judgements but I feel ok saying it because Jason took the first chance he had to go into the hot tub with one of the "hot" female contestants. Ew.

Jason did an interview in which he said his inspiration to cook was his mom - you'd think he'd give women a bit more credit in the kitchen based on that. Here are some other questions he was asked, and his responses:

Did you think it was fair that you were eliminated, or do you think maybe Craig should have gone for that whole chicken thing?

"For the chicken thing, Craig probably, for as much experience as he says he has, he probably should have got eliminated. But I wanted to go... I was frustrated, I had a bad day. I kind of wanted to leave, so I told them to put me up. But if I would have been put up against a guy, I don't think I would have went home. I think I went home because I got put up against a girl."

They showed you saying a lot of things about how men are a little bit better than women in the kitchen.

"They sure did."

Do you think that's true? Is that type of environment just better suited for men, or did the women impress you?

"The women did do some stuff to impress me, definitely. They were working better as a team than we were for the most part. I know they had a little confrontation as well, but that's part of the game. But they were doing better than us overall, I will give them credit for that. I've never worked in the kitchen with a girl who did anything aside from make salads. I had a couple girls come over and try to do what we were doing, and they just couldn't hang, so they went right back over to salads or ended up waiting tables or doing something else. So from the little bit of experience that I've had with that, that's what I based most of those comments on."

Ok, so i get where his "opinions" stem from but that doesn't give him the right to be an enormously sexist jackass on national TV. Good riddance Jason. Please let us all know where you end up cooking so that i can avoid your restaurant like the plague (yes because you're an ass but also because you suck at cooking - and you don't wash your hands after playing with your feet... gross man, just gross).

MissBimbo.com, Where Breast Implants are Only 11,500 Bimbo Dollars!

Thanks Jacks for the heads up on this one...

Imagine you were a 7 year old girl. Done? Good. Now imagine someone told you about this awesome game where you competed to become the "hottest, coolest, most famous bimbo." Done? Ok. Now imagine you could attain that by purchasing your "bimbo" boob jobs and by putting her on crash diets. Fan-fucking-tastic. You think i'm joking? I seriously couldn't make this stuff up if i tried.

A new website that launched last month in the UK encourages girls to compete against each other by earning "bimbo dollars" to purchase things like sexy outfits, plastic surgery, and diet pills. (Breast implants cost 11,500 bimbo dollars, diet pills cost 200 bimbo dollars). When new members register, they are provided with a naked virtual bimbo to "look after."

The aim is to become 'the coolest, richest and most famous bimbo in the whole world' and gamers must keep her at her the target weight through diet pills.

When they run out of virtual cash, contestants send texts costing £1.50 each or transfer funds to top up their accounts.

The creator of MissBimbo.com, Nicolas Jacquart, weighed in:

The 23-year-old Web designer from Tooting, south London, who created it was quoted in the Daily Mail as saying: "It is not a bad influence for young children. They learn to take care of their bimbos. The missions and goals are morally sound and teach children about the real world."

He added: "The breast operations are just one part of the game and we are not encouraging young girls to have them, just reflecting real life."

My birthday is coming up - can someone gift wrap this fool for me so i can punch him in the face? Thanks.

This is just one step away from Real Doll (Enter at your own risk, graphic nudity)

YUCK.

(oh and not to mention "MISS" Bimbo... couldn't she have at least been a Ms?)

The Message we Send by Bashing Hillary Clinton

If you read only one thing today, please let it be this.

All i can say to Schultz's article is: "YES YES YES YES YES!"

Wal-Mart Strikes Again

As if we need additional reasons to hate WalMart, here’s a good one. And it’s a shame, too, I was starting to hate WalMart less due to their “going green initiative...”


Thanks to one of yesterday's Feministing posts, I learned of this product:

Here is a reaction letter I wrote to Wal-Mart. I encourage you all to do the same:

To Whom It May Concern,

I recently noticed a product you are selling in the junior department at which I was appalled. I am referring to a pair of girls’ underwear that reads, “Who needs credit cards…” written across the vagina. Upon immediate reading, I took this underwear to imply that young girls should prostitute themselves for cash. Although I am sure this is not the message you intended to portray when promoting this item, based on Wal-Mart’s high standard of family values and all, marketing these underwear sends a message of girls bodies as commodities. It promulgates the erroneous notion that all girls have to offer is their bodies, oh and sex. Especially since this message was written on the crotch region, I immediately took it to imply that Wal-Mart believes girls’ biggest asset is in between their legs. Not only does this promote the sexualization of children but also the idea that girls and women should use their sexuality to acquire things.

If you do not yet see the severity of this issue, I encourage you to pretend this phrase was written on a pair of boys’ boxers. Could you ever imagine, “Who needs credit cards” written over the crotch where the boy’s penis is intended to be? Although this product would be equally as unacceptable if it were marketed towards boys, it would also never happen.

Sexually charged clothing for junior girls (and boys) is unacceptable and until this item is pulled from Wal-Mart, I will refrain from shopping at Wal-Mart again. I will also make everyone I can aware of this atrocious product.

Concerned Consumer,
Galina

(Ok, so what, i lied about the "concerned consumer" part. But Wal-Mart responds better to the business model and my feedback may have more weight if they believe they'd lose a costumer rather than if i notified them that i don't shop at Wal-Mart to begin with...)

Apparently men are only good for heavy lifting

Quick vent:

I needed to bring a computer up to the office this morning. I work in a substance abuse clinic so you know, one of those ancient (and pseudo-heavy) PCs... As I walk up the stairs with PC in hand one of the female counselors, while watching me struggle with the door offers these words, "why are you doing that yourself? Isn't this why we hire men in this place? Get one of the guys to help you." My calm, lighthearted response was, "I lift weights on a regular basis and can probably carry more than half the men here." To which she says, "But that's what men are for..."

I'm sorry... WHAT?!

my uterus = a cardboard box...

Watch this commercial. It's under a minute long so check it out...

All i can say is my uterus is not a cardboard box, thank you very much.

I can't say much else about this... feel free to comment though!

Girls Pledging their Virginity to Daddy (Purity Balls)

They can suck my Purity Balls...

First thing's fist: this is so creepy. Giving a pink box that symbolizes virginity to your daddy? Can't we all see multiple issues here? Let's start with the issue of preaching abstinence. Teaching our children abstinence only sets them up for failure. This doesn't address the actual issues of sexuality, and raising children ignorant about sex causes many more problems than it solves. Studies show that abstinence only education has no impact on the rate ofsexual abstinence but DOES have an impact on pregnancy and STDs (in a very bad, kids have less knowledge and are less confident in saying "no" to sex, way.) Basically since children are only taught not to have sex, they are not taught how to protect themselves when (inevitably) they do have sex thus causing them to make bad decisions once engaging in sexual behaviors.

Secondly, these super creepy purity balls send all sorts of fucked up messages about sex being a measure of a young girl's value. Choosing to have sex (or not have sex) in no way equals being less of a person or less of a girl. A girl's virginity isn't a pink box that should be locked off like a treasure and given to daddy, that's just damn creepy.

Thirdly, this whole concept not only limits gender roles and endorses male dominance but also promotes heteronormativity. What a double wammy! First you give your virginity in a pink (PINK!!!) box to your daddy (a man) until you can give it to your husband (another man.)

Where's the woman's role in her own sexuality and her own life? It's a contract that young girls are being asked to sign and give up the rights of their bodies to the men that control them throughout theirlives. YUCK.